The iPad's true contender isn't the Kindle or the netbook as the pundits would have you believe. It's the Weimaraner.

As I suspected, my RSS reader was flooded with the inevitable "Kindle vs. iPad: Which one will triumph?" posts yesterday. I read a handful of posts from the usual suspects like CNET, Mashable, and even the NY Times, and I'm done. Journalism may be dead, but in the last 24 hours we've demonstrated that we're going to assassinate its apparent savior—blogging—using the same militaristic tactics.

It's a nice molotov cocktail: a couple shots of "Relativity" (a concept from Predictably Irrational's first chapter, which holds that humans are deeply evolutionarily wired such that they can't evaluate the world without making comparisons) and a couple shots of deliberate controversy, all topped off with a blatant attempt to squeeze juice out of ad revenue on web sites.

I'm sure there's a decent article or two out there about the Kindle vs. iPad question, but I'm just too cranky to sift through the shrapnel to find them at the moment.

But hey. If we're going to compare an iPad to a Kindle, I think it's completely fair to compare it with the most magical dog breed of all: the Weimaraner. Heck, let's do a quick analysis right now. Right here. It's so on.

The $64,000 question: Will the iPad obliterate adoption of this perfectly engineered breed of canine?

The Weimaraner—lovingly referred to as the "velcro-dog"—is a very trusty and dependable companion. Its UI is characterized by a sleek frame, covered with a fast-drying, microfiber-like, eco-friendly coat. Its gait is graceful and awe-inspiring, and it has communicative eyes that people get lost in. It responds not only to voice-commands, but can be easily trained to read hand gestures and even facial expressions! Basically, its technology is beyond our imagination. And, battery life? Psshtt! Unlimited. If it ever gets low (and that's a big IF), it takes nothing more than a 15 min nap to fully recharge.

But. Will this marvelous product, borne of decades of meticulous German engineering, survive Apple's magical new iPad? Let's analyze this.

First of all, the iPad's UI is just as sexy as the Weimaraner’s, if not more. Heck, the bookshelf spins around to reveal an entire store of books, for crying out loud! Can the Weimaraner do that? Didn't think so. And the iPad weighs a mere 1.5lbs. What about the Weimaraner? 80 lbs? Fatty! Can't carry that in my messenger bag, can I? I can change the orientation of the iPad and it adapts perfectly. But turn the Weimaraner upside-down and you get a perfectly useless, goofy-looking, bat-like creature with a mirror-shattering grin (see actual screenshot, below). Endearing, but it doesn't help me send email now, does it?

No email. No music. No apps. WTF, Weimaraner? And let's be honest: while I can't really cuddle its sleek, hard chasis, the iPad doesn't shed or have "that dog smell".

Having said that, the Weimaraner is definitely a perfect companion—something the iPad will never be. So, while some of us will buy iPads, let’s not write off the Weimaraner just yet.

Now that I think of it, maybe the iPad will actually encourage adoption of Weimaraners! Insert two shots of controversial speculation. (Thank you for visiting. Please deposit your comments below. [Mission accomplished])

*Rolling eyes for dramatic effect*

The point is this: You can't compare the Kindle and the iPad! Period. Yes, they share some features (3G, ebook reading experience, etc.). They are both "tablets". They both allow you to read ebooks. They let you listen to music.

But they are in entirely different categories.

The Kindle's attempt to be a multi-purpose everyday tablet—let’s be honest, the Kindle did attempt to be more than just a Trojan horse for eBooks despite what some pundits seem to forgivingly suggest—is obviously and entirely half-baked. Our failure to see this clearly is driven by our love for the trusty Amazon brand; it's the same reason that even well-respected UX professionals insist that Amazon sets the bar for e-commerce user experiences. Complete madness. Anyhow, I digress.

Bottom line: The iPad is a well thought-out end-to-end experience for consuming all types of media. The Kindle is a niche device optimized for reading certain types of books. They are different.

A fair comparison between the two companies and their core businesses, if there is in fact one, is between the iPad and Amazon.com itself. And there, one could argue that Apple has a position that grows stronger everyday despite its currently weaker areas, namely, pricing and selection of content. If history repeats itself, then prices for content will normalize and both companies will carry a similar repertoire eventually. This leaves only one differentiator: experience. But I better stop now for I’m starting to delve into punditry here.

I suppose I should cut the pundits some slack for putting iPads and Kindles into the same bucket (and by extension, myself for adding Weimaraners to the mix). After all, some of us will continue to buy Kindles, much like some of us will continue to seek the companionship of Weimaraners. But my hunch is that by Christmas many, many of us will buy an iPad despite its trivial and inconsequential shortcomings that the punditry and naysayers are currently echoing. Why? Because it respectably and pragmatically brings to life a category of devices that we've hungrily imagined for decades.

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